Improbable Stuff

Hero improbability23

Aug 5, 2013 | By Joseph Minardi

The material things around us reveal a lot about our reality, wittingly and otherwise. If, for instance, you wear Google Glass anywhere in public, you are either a) forward-thinking, and/or b) kind of annoying to the rest of us. That is your reality, as described by your stuff.

Italian artist Giuseppe Colarusso wonders what happens when we alter our stuff. In Improbabilitá, Signore Colarusso uses a camera, a computer, and real-life objects to create some improbable physical realities. Improbable like a bathroom sink with no drain, unlikely as a pair of one-eyed Oakleys, Colarusso's digital art takes mundane items and places them into an alternate dimension of wtf, seriously.

These cheeky, surreal still lifes hint at new meanings for familiar things. As always, we look for the deepest meanings. 

Speedometer Watch:

With a top walking speed of around 6.5 km, an awkward human biped wouldn't use even a twentieth of this wrist speedometer's massive velocity potential.

To make things worse, this watch is proof that time accelerates as you get older.

Orange Faucet:

Two possibilities here: 1. A genetically modified strain of mutant orange with internal plumbing, which naturally grows a chrome spout out of its stemhole. (Courtesy of Monsanto).

2. A chrome-spout citrus juicer made by Kohler, available exclusively at a Bed Bath & Beyond near you. (Citrus sold separately).

Spotless Dice:

The Most Diplomatic Dice in the World.

Every game is a tie. Every roll is always doubles, you just never know how many.  You can't roll snake eyes anymore, because these dice are blind.

Balloon Dog Cactus:

For every American lawn owner who fights the plague of poorly trained, leg-lifting Labradoodle piss hounds, Balloon Dog here is a catharsis.

Go ahead, Balloon Dog. Sniff away, little buddy.

Sink with no Drain:

On first glance: useful like a papier mache toilet. But on second thought, not totally useless at all!

Potential uses: indoor birdbath/koi pond; lap pool for action figures; budget bidet; water storage facility; empty sink.

Cyclops Sunglasses:

Hey buddy, you lost your sunglass.

Recycling Egg:

A message about the sustainability of human industry? An allusion to nature's circle of life/hakuna matata?

Or: "Hey, you put eggshell in the f-ing recycling again. Eggs are compost, man. How many times do I have to tell you?"

Hieroglyph Keyboard:

Some people on the internet might as well use a hieroglyph keyboard for all the sense they make. #LOL DA HEL U SAY BRO

Hieroglyphs were painstakingly hand-painted on the walls of temples to tell the story of an ascendant civilization. Qwerty keystrokes are haphazardly spraypainted on the walls of Twitter to document the decline of language. (In 140 hieroglyphs or less).  

Bowl of Nuts and Bolts:

Robot breakfast: 1. Sit down, knock cat off table. 2. Accidentally crush kitchen chair with two tons of robot weight. 3. Make note to buy metal chairs. 4. Proceed to eat robot granola of nuts, bolts, and washers. 5. Take robot supplements (more washers). 6. Muss hair of robot children. 7. Kiss robot spouse. 8. Get in Prius, drive to robot job. 9. Contemplate meaning of robot existence. 10. Power off. 11. Dream. 12. Power on. 13. Repeat.

All images by Guiseppe Colarusso via Bored Panda.